What is love?
by JT4Life
Summary: John was injured on an offworld mission, and Teyla doen't know what to do with all her bottled up emotions. **Disclaimer: Stargate doesn't belong to me**
1. Uncertanties

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"I don't see anything here," John called out to the rest of his team. "Let's go back to Atlantis."

Teyla herad his call and immediately began to pull back. Once in view of Colonel Sheppard, she could see that Ronon had caught up to him first. "This has got to be the most boring planet in the galaxy," Ronon mumbled, swatting a group of flies away from his face. John was grinning.

Now the four of them, John, Ronon, McKay and Teyla, were almost back to the gate. There was one last thick of trees to go through before the reached the clearing where the large, gray space gate stood. "Colonel," Teyla began, "What is-"

But she never got to complete her sentence, for a wraith stunner had shot over their heads out of nowhere, only missing then by inches.

"What the hell! Where did they come from?" John yelled over the noise of weapons fire as they all had instantly started to fire on the small party of wraith that had ambushed them.

"How didn't the scanners pick them up?" Ronon called back angrily. Teyla kept her focus locked in firing at the wraith, but one lucky wraith shot managed to reach its target, and with a small "uhhgh" John fell to his knees, stunned. The wraith seemed to sense the sudden break in concentration from their prey and started firing more rapidly than ever.

"We have to get him back to the gate!" McKay yelled after John's limp body had been shot three more times by rogue stunners. Ronon was trying to continue his attack and pull John out of harm's way.

Teyla was panicking. John was shot- no, stunned, not shot, she told herself- a grand total of four times, and they had no easy way back to the gate. She locked her eyes on one of the biggest wraith. Now it was her turn to get a lucky shot. She concentrated all her firepower on that one wraith and in a matter of seconds, he was disposed of.

There was a temporary lull in the offensive fire, seeing as Teyla's shots had taken out one of the biggest and maddest wraith. "Ok, let's go, let's go!" Ronon shouted, seizing the opportunity to grab John and get the heck out of there. Both Teyla and McKay covered him as he ran. McKay ran second, to no surprise, and Teyla followed, still firing a few shots over her head every few seconds.

They had reached the gate. Rodney was dialing the address to Atlantis as fast as was humanly possible. Once the gate was online and the shield was down, they bolted through. McKay passed through first, having dialed the gate and therefore being the closest one to it. Ronon was next carrying John, and Teyla brought up the rear.

Her first foot was across the event horizon when she felt the stunner hit her square in the back. Everything started to go black and fuzzy. With her last strength, she concentrated on pushing herself forward so that she could just fall through the gate. She was pretty sure that it had worked because that last thing she saw was the arched ceiling of the gate room, and then... nothing.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

It was the steady noise of a heart monitor, Teyla knew that. She could hear it somewhere, but she couldn't see anything yet. Her head was throbbing terribly and there was a slight pain somewhere in her left arm, but that was all she could identify. Her vision was coming back, slowly.

She was in the infirmary, and she quickly discovered that the pain in her arm was a broken wrist. The second thing she noticed was that Dr. Keller was standing at the side of her bed, checking some of the nearby instruments. When she saw Teyla stir, a big smile crossed Jennifer's face.

"Good afternoon Teyla," She said.

Teyla grimaced, but managed a croaky, "Good afternoon Jennifer."

"I'm glad you're up," Jen continued. "You were out for a good several hours."

Even in her current state of exhaustion and pain, Teyla could tell that Jennifer was holding something back. Jen caught her look and interpreted it perfectly. "Well," she started, a little uneasy, "Colonel Sheppard isn't in the best shape, Teyla. He was shot by four wraith stunners in the chest, one after the other." She paused to make sure that Teyla was ok before quickly adding, "I've put him into a medically enduced coma to help the healing process."

Teyla froze. Her heart began pounding harder than it had when they were being chased on the planet. Thankfully, he voice came out stronger than she felt. "Where is he? Can I see him?"

Jen nodded and stepped to the side. Now Teyla could see that Dr. Keller had been blocking her view of John's bed at the sane time as fixing the machines, probably trying not to frighten her before she knew the full story.

Besides the fact that his arm had one little bandage on it, John didn't look so bad. That was why it was terrible. He looked so healthy and serene laying there like that, like he might wake up at any moment. Teyla didn't even have to ask Jen the question she wanted answered. "I'm not sure when he'll wake up," the doctor answred quietly, "The chances of him not having a full recovery are about one in one thousand, but I still can't say anything for sure at this point."

Teyla nodded, her eyes never leaving John's face. "I'm sorry," Jen said quietly and gave Teyla's hand a squeeze. "If you need anything, just let me know." Teyla nodded again, but it was an empty nod. Her thoughts were elsewhere.

For the rest of the day, all Teyla could think about was John. She didn't know what to think. All her thoughts were a blur of emotion. She kept stealing a look at John, just to see if he had moved. But no matter what she told herself, every few minutes her eyes would tear up and she'd wipe them away furiously. No crying, she told herself. She couldn't fall apart over a small thing like this. Perhaps it wasn't that small, but people got hurt all the time on missions. Why was she so distraught this time? What was different? It was because it was John, but that's all Teyla could manage to conclude. John. Why him? What about Ronon, or Rodney, or Colonel Carter? She would be horrified if any one of them were injured... Yet, she couldn't quite put her finger on why this was different.


	2. Realizations

Teyla stayed overnight at the infirmary, but was allowed to leave the next day. She looked back at John's face one more time before leaving, just to make sure that he hadn't moved even the slightest little bit without her knowledge. He still hadn't. She sighed and walked off down the hallway to her quarters.

After washing up, she decided to go for a walk around the city to clear her head, and perhaps grab some lunch. The second she began walking, her thoughts drifted back to John. Mostly, she was worried for him, but a nagging little voice in her head kept asking "Why do you care so much?" Teyla pushed the thought away again and again, but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something that she was missing, something so obvious it was almost stupid not to know...

Then it hit her. She gave a small gasp and stopped right in the middle of the hallway, which, thankfully, was empty except for her. Could it be? No... it was stupid.. did she love John Sheppard? Teyla went out on a limb and thought, just for a second, what would happen if she really did love him? And at that thought, her mind almost exploded with the excitement of it all. Was this love? It was something that could've happened over their long years of knowing each other... yes, it most definitely could've... but John... He was sweet, he always looked after her, and he was the first person that she'd trusted in Atlantis. It made sense, but at the same time it didn't.

She shouldn't be thinking these things. This was John, her friend she was thinking about, not the crush she had had on a boy from Athos when she was younger... she couldn't even remember his name now... was it Kanan? Or was it Kannel...? But John, she would never forget his name. John was wonderful-

No. She stopped herself mid-though. This was getting out of hand. Grumbling at herself for letting her mind think of such things, Teyla stomped off in the direction of the mess hall.

Ten minutes later, she was sitting with Ronon and Jennifer while the three of them ate lunch. Teyla ate quickly, using whatever she could to keep her mind from drifting off.

"Ummm, Teyla?" Ronon started, "are you ok?"

Teyla glanced up at him.

"You've hardly said a word to either of us since you started eating. It's just a little unusual for you."

"I am just hungry, that is all," she replied quickly.

Ronon raised his eyebrows at Jen who just shrugged and went back to her own lunch.

"Shouldn't you be with Sheppard, making sure he's ok?" Ronon asked Jen. Teyla's ears pricked up, but she made it look like the statement was of no interest to her.

"I've got my best people looking after him right now. Besides," Jen smiled, "I need some kind of food every once in a while!"

Ronon grinned at her.

Suddenly, a voice called through the speakers throughout Atlantis, saying: "Would Dr. Keller please report to the infirmary. Colonel Sheppard has woken up."

"Ok, I'd better go..." Jen said as she hurriedly grabbed her last half of sandwich for the road.

Teyla didn't even bother to grab any of her remaining lunch. She bolted out of the hall before Jen had even finished her sentence. Ronon grinned to himself. Something was definitely up with her.


	3. Connections

Teyla made it to the infirmary faster than she thought was possible. She had been sprinting, but tried to look casual as she walked into the infirmary. John was sitting up in bed and reading a magazine that looked like it was about football. Teyla took a deep breath and walked over to him, her stomach full of butterflies and her hands a little shaky. He looked up when she came over.

"Oh, hey Teyla," John smiled, closing his magazine and putting it on the bedside table.

"Hi John," she replied as her nervousness grew and grew. "How are you feeling?"

He shrugged. "Not too bad, actually. Those medical comas really help get the job done," he joked.

Teyla tried to laugh along with him. "Yes, they do!" she managed, but was suddenly aware of the fact that her face felt all hot, and not from running to the infirmary. Of course, this made her blush even more.

Suddenly, John's facial expression changed to that of concern. "Are you alright?" he asked gently, "Your face is all red and you're crying."

Teyla reached up and wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye. "It is nothing, John," she replied quickly, trying to hide her face as she did so. They were tears that had just started without her knowing. Tears of complete, utter happiness. But John didn't know that.

He gently placed his hand on her forearm and didn't let go. Teyla's heart skipped a beat as she felt his hand gently caress her bare arm. She looked up at his eyes, and for a few seconds, their eyes were locked. His were full of kindness and compassion, while hers were full of love and caring. It could have lasted forever, the two of them looking at each other like that, but at that moment, Jen came stumbling into the infirmary, panting, and completely out of breath.

John let go of her arm, but still looked slightly concerned.

"Hello, Colonel," Jen said, as she came over to his bedside, once she had caught her breath. "You gave us all quite a scare, you know."

"Yeah, sorry about that..." he mumbled.

"I'm just gonna do a few tests to make sure you're perfectly fine, and we'll probably keep you here for another day or so," Jen replied, "does that sound good?"

"Yep," John answered, his eyes glancing back to Teyla every now and again. Teyla knew that she must be blushing furiously by now. Jen turned to Teyla.

"You're feeling fine as well? No dizziness, no lightheadedness or anything? Those damn stunners cane wreck havoc on a person's systems."

Teyla almost laughed out loud. She was feeling all of the things that Jen had just mentioned, but not as an after affect from the stunner. "No, no, I am fine," she said with a sense of forced calm.

"Wait a second-," John began, "you were shot too?" he asked Teyla with his look of concern back in full throttle.

"Yes, but it is nothing to worry about, John. I am just fine." She smiled at him. John nodded, but he didn't look all that convinced. "I shall see you later, then?" Teyla asked.

"You betcha," he replied, giving her one of those gorgeous smiles.

"Ok then," Teyla said, feeling her heart begin to race again, and walked swiftly out of the infirmary.

She was practically skipping down the halls of Atlantis on the way to her quarters.

Teyla lay awake in bed that night for a long time. After today's events, she could no longer hide it from herself: she was totally, completely, utterly, absolutely, head-over-heels in love with John Sheppard. It sounded crazy; they'd been friends for years now. But it also seemed perfectly logical. Teyla laughed to herself. It was so sudden, so real, and it felt so right. She fell asleep that night thinking about John.

Teyla woke up in the wee hours of the morning, and knew that she had dreamed about something, but couldn't remember what it was. Then she remembered John... and smiled up at her ceiling. Now she knew what she'd been dreaming about! She looked out her window and saw the streak of orange and pink on the horizon, and knew that it was almost dawn. She sighed, contentedly. Today was going to be a good day- that was for sure. That giddy feeling she had felt yesterday was still there, and every time she thought of him, of John, everything seemed just so...so... perfect. She pulled her blankets up over her shoulders and fell back to sleep, still unable to stop smiling.


	4. Unknowns

_A/N: I'm sorry it took AGES to update this story! What's it been, a month or more? D'OH! Here's part 4, finally!_

_Disclaimer: Don't own SGA, sad to say._

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Teyla had just come back from a quick trip to the mainland to pick some flowers for John. He'd just been released from the infirmary that morning after three days of, as he called it, "utter pointlessness" and repeated claims that he was fine.

Now, Teyla was on the way to his quarters to drop off her gift. It was her own way of saying 'welcome back', even though she'd visited John every day while he was recovering.

She thought back to a conversation they had had earlier that day...

_Teyla almost fell off her chair laughing. Tears streamed down her face and she could hardly catch her breath. John was laughing too._

_Teyla had gone to visit him, and John had just told Teyla some of the gossip that he'd heard from the nurses in the infirmary. One in particular was about Rodney._

_"He... he said that? Truthfully?" Teyla asked for the third time, between gasps for air, still shaking and trying to control her giggles._

_"You bet he did!" John laughed again and smiled at her. He caught her eye and Teyla's already huge smile just grew. She got herself under control and, glancing at her watch, saw that it was getting late._

_"John," she began, "it is getting late, and I... have a few things to do before the day ends, so I'm going to be on my way now." It was awkward, no doubt, but she felt that she could be awkward around him and still feel comfortable._

_"Ok. I'll see ya when I'm finally out of here then?" John asked. "Keller said that I should be free to go by lunch time."_

_"Sure."_

_"Sounds like a date," John replied with a million dollar grin. Then, realizing what he'd just said, he gasped and saw that Teyla's face had gone very red. "No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that kind of date..." he stammered, also very red now. "Honestly, it's just us getting together, as friends, y'know-,"_

_Teyla watched him as he rambled on trying to explain himself. He was adorable when he got so nervous, and she loved it especially when it was around her. Finally, it was too much for Teyla to handle. She walked up to his bedside and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly, savoring the feel of his warmth against her. Soon, she felt John's arms wrap around her too, and then his head nuzzling hers. "John, it is alright. You do not have to explain yourself too me," Teyla mumbled into his shoulder. He gave her an extra squeeze._

_"I know, Teyla, I know," he replied in such a gentle way that Teyla was sure she could've stayed, holding him, forever. But finally, she did make herself pull back._

_"Goodbye John," she smiled as she walked out of the infirmary._

Smiling with happiness, Teyla was skipping lightly down the hall as opposed to simple walking down it.

Yes, skipping.

She chuckled to herself and wondered how many people had stared after her with eyes as big as saucers, wondering what on earth had come over her.

As Teyla passed the mess hall, she saw Dr. Keller sitting and eating her lunch. She decided to stop in and grab something to eat quickly, for in all her excitement, she hadn't realized just how hungry she was.

Teyla picked up an apple and then proceeded to go and sit with Jennifer. As she approached, Jen looked up from her meal and smiled tiredly, "Hey Teyla."

"Hello Jennifer," Teyla replied as she sat down. "Are you alright? You seem... tired."

Jen gave her another small smile. "I'm fine; it's just that the whole ordeal with Colonel Sheppard really took it out of me." She paused. "But what about you? You seem pretty darn chipper lately. Meet someone special?" she teased.

Even though it was merely a joke, Teyla felt herself blush. "No, no..." She tried to shake it off with a nervous laugh, but Jen wasn't buying it.

"So there IS someone then," Jen pronounced triumphantly.

"I never said that!" Teyla replied in a mock-angry tone. Try as she might, a giggle escaped her lips.

Jen raised her eyebrows. "Whatever you say..." she trailed off, making no attempt whatsoever to hide her giggles.

"I will see you later," Teyla grinned, and left the doctor to finish her lunch without interruptions.

Teyla walked down the empty corridors that lead to John's quarters. There wasn't anyone in sight.

But suddenly, she heard voices. She was almost sure they belonged to Rodney and Ronon. She rolled her eyes as a small boom of laughter escaped the room on the left hand side of the corridor, no doubt the location of the two men.

As she passed it, Teyla thought she heard John's name mentioned.

And mentioned again above more laughter.

Curious, she fell back and stood just to the side of the doorway. Despite the fact that the door was closed, she could now hear their conversation word for word.

"...and when John started to like that other hot alien chick..." Ronon's voice. Teyla frowned, completely confused.

"You mean the one with the short blond hair?" McKay replied with a chuckle.

"It wasn't that short."

"Whatever!" Rodney said. "But... but..." More laughter. Teyla's ear was glued to the door now.

Rodney caught his breath and continued, "...but when he was making out with the blonde chick-,"

"-and she almost walked in on them!" Ronon roared, which drowned out something that Rodney was saying.

"You know who I'm talking about, right?" McKay half whispered. "The other hot girl? Everyone- I mean even I thought that they'd be the ones to get together, but I guess not..."

"Too bad," Ronon sighed with a somewhat serious tone, the laughing gone, "Those two were pretty close. Would've made a great couple."

"Yeah. Too bad," Rodney agreed.

Teyla felt as if someone had just dropped her into a tub of ice cold water. She couldn't think, she could hardly breathe.

When was this? When was John in a relationship with another woman? Was this still going on now? She daren't open the door and ask them.

Instead, Teyla ran. She ran down the corridor as fast as she could, tears welling up in her eyes. The other hot girl... was that her? The flowers fell from her hands. No, it couldn't be...

She didn't understand. It didn't make sense.

Before she knew it, she was passing John's quarters and at that precise moment, he chose to come out.

He saw her tears, confusion, and pain all in one look.

"Teyla!" he called after her. "Hey- TEYLA!"

She wouldn't look back. She wouldn't.

John was about to run after her, but he spotted a small trail of flower petals ending in a bouquet lying in the hallway in the direction that Teyla had come. He went and picked them up, somehow knowing that she had been holding them. What could have happened that she was so hurt?

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_TBC! Hopefully sooner rather than later this time..._


End file.
